Photo Credit: MTV.comAs many of you probably saw last week, MTV's Jersey Shore follows a group of self-proclaimed "guidos" and "guidettes" in search of booze, broads/bros, and more hair gel than one can fathom. As two native New Jerseyans (one Italian and one from the shore), we're here to set the record straight on a few things.
MYTH: Blowouts,
wife beaters, and gold chains are a typical Jersey uniform.
ANSWER: This is partly fact and partly fiction. Although you will see your fair share of Joey's, Anthony's, and John's rocking their "this took me two hours to style" hairdo, blowouts are generally uncommon once you venture out of Seaside.
Wife beaters are out and have lost their popularity since brands like Ed Hardy and Affliction came onto the scene. As a result, graphic tees with images of tigers, roses, and crosses have become the norm.
The chains are much more simple than the thick ones of the early 90s, however, you're likely to find your favorite guido sporting a horn charm. This is worn to ward off evil spirits or those who wish to do you harm. No wonder Pauly D was able to win that fight...duh.
MYTH: Best place to party down the shore is Seaside???!?!?!
ANSWER: Truth be told, Seaside Park is the typical hangout for Jersey Trash. Locals and dedicated shore goers refer to this slimy town as "SleazeSide". Its full of under-ager ragers, prosti-tots, and the greasiest Guidos alive. If you are looking to go to the shore, are in search of a classy Ginzo, and want to have a good time here are the real hot spots:
#1 Djais
Djais always guarantees
I recommend New Year's theme night and happy hour. Unfortunately, Djais is closed in the winter, but if you need your fix they offer a reunion in the winter and also an authentic New Year's Eve party in Atlantic City. So get your fist pumpin arm in shape and get ready to slay a Guido!!!
#2 Osprey
If you are new to the Jersey shore scene, start out slow with The Osprey. The best of both worlds can be found at this Manasquan hangout. The bar is divided into two separate party rooms. One side being live music from a serious Jersey cover band and the other I like to call "The Boom Boom Room". It is full of Guids and dance beats. Perfect for a steamy make out or a serious dance session with your girls.
Hint: The better the live band, the better the party!
#3 Bar A
It is not summer at the Jersey shore with out attending "Beat The Clock" at Bar A. This 16th Ave. oasis invites you to blackout for practically nothing. Starting at 8pm beer is only $0.25.Prices go up hourly, so it is vital to get their early and definitely double fist.
If these shore parties don't satisfy your Jersey Shore cravings... then please do us all a favor and STAY HOME!
MYTH: All Jersey
girls are promiscuous bitches.
ANSWER: FICTION! Despite the larger than life, loudmouth personalities portrayed on tv (thank you Jersey Shore and The Real Housewives), most Jersey girls are civilized, sophisticated, and gasp! classy. Don't get us wrong though, we're not going to let people walk all over us. We just know when it's appropriate to get a little sassy. The girls on this show want air time, and as a result, will do or say whatever is going to get them that extra few minutes in the limelight. In reality, we're not drama queens, we're not cock blocks, and we're definitely not jumping into bed with just anyone. As Cher Horowitz so eloquently put it in Clueless, "look how picky I am about shoes...and they just go on my feet!"
MYTH: Guidos "live" at the Jersey Shore
MYTH: Blowouts,
wife beaters, and gold chains are a typical Jersey uniform.ANSWER: This is partly fact and partly fiction. Although you will see your fair share of Joey's, Anthony's, and John's rocking their "this took me two hours to style" hairdo, blowouts are generally uncommon once you venture out of Seaside.
Wife beaters are out and have lost their popularity since brands like Ed Hardy and Affliction came onto the scene. As a result, graphic tees with images of tigers, roses, and crosses have become the norm.
The chains are much more simple than the thick ones of the early 90s, however, you're likely to find your favorite guido sporting a horn charm. This is worn to ward off evil spirits or those who wish to do you harm. No wonder Pauly D was able to win that fight...duh.
MYTH: Best place to party down the shore is Seaside???!?!?!
ANSWER: Truth be told, Seaside Park is the typical hangout for Jersey Trash. Locals and dedicated shore goers refer to this slimy town as "SleazeSide". Its full of under-ager ragers, prosti-tots, and the greasiest Guidos alive. If you are looking to go to the shore, are in search of a classy Ginzo, and want to have a good time here are the real hot spots:
#1 Djais
Djais always guarantees
I recommend New Year's theme night and happy hour. Unfortunately, Djais is closed in the winter, but if you need your fix they offer a reunion in the winter and also an authentic New Year's Eve party in Atlantic City. So get your fist pumpin arm in shape and get ready to slay a Guido!!!#2 Osprey
If you are new to the Jersey shore scene, start out slow with The Osprey. The best of both worlds can be found at this Manasquan hangout. The bar is divided into two separate party rooms. One side being live music from a serious Jersey cover band and the other I like to call "The Boom Boom Room". It is full of Guids and dance beats. Perfect for a steamy make out or a serious dance session with your girls.
Hint: The better the live band, the better the party!
#3 Bar A
It is not summer at the Jersey shore with out attending "Beat The Clock" at Bar A. This 16th Ave. oasis invites you to blackout for practically nothing. Starting at 8pm beer is only $0.25.Prices go up hourly, so it is vital to get their early and definitely double fist.
If these shore parties don't satisfy your Jersey Shore cravings... then please do us all a favor and STAY HOME!
MYTH: All Jersey
girls are promiscuous bitches.ANSWER: FICTION! Despite the larger than life, loudmouth personalities portrayed on tv (thank you Jersey Shore and The Real Housewives), most Jersey girls are civilized, sophisticated, and gasp! classy. Don't get us wrong though, we're not going to let people walk all over us. We just know when it's appropriate to get a little sassy. The girls on this show want air time, and as a result, will do or say whatever is going to get them that extra few minutes in the limelight. In reality, we're not drama queens, we're not cock blocks, and we're definitely not jumping into bed with just anyone. As Cher Horowitz so eloquently put it in Clueless, "look how picky I am about shoes...and they just go on my feet!"
MYTH: Guidos "live" at the Jersey Shore
ANSWER: This may come as a shock to all those who live outside our precious state, but Guidos are not bred here! They simply swarm here in the summer like a group of sexy bees looking to get their buzz on. Most of the Italian stallions I have had the pleasure of macking in the summer months travel down the parkway weekend after weekend from New York. This includes Staten Island,
Long Island, and Upstate New York. They crawl out of their mother's basements, pack up their bar clothes, lather on the baby oil, call up Vinny and Paulie, jump in their Acura, and hit the beaches looking for some sweet lovin from some sassy beach bunny. Photo Credit: GuidoFistPump.com, Djais.com, TheDirty.com
